Wow. Great stuff. What I find is that there is a total lack of passing on values to children. It’s the “love is love” crowd. It wreaks of “everything is subjective.” Within this guise, they attempt to allow a child to “come to their own conclusions about their values” (and sexuality, and political view) at age SEVEN! Children don’t just find identity. We instill it in them. It’s the nurture part of the great “nature vs nurture” existence. While the “everyone gets a trophy” parents are well meaning in their insistence on autonomy, it just doesn’t work.
Values are still being instilled. Unfortunately, modern parents have been convinced that character development is best left to the "experts" and professional "educators" rather than embrace it as their own responsibility.
Just getting to know your writing and so glad I happened upon it, through one of your comments. One significant quibble: “It’s up to us to gift it”—no one can gift anyone an identity. We can reflect back to children how we see them in the world, how the choices they make (what they do) speak to their values and their character. But only they can come to an internal stable understanding of “this is who i am if I make these choices; other choices make me someone else. Who do I want to be? I need to choose my actions accordingly.”
Wow. Great stuff. What I find is that there is a total lack of passing on values to children. It’s the “love is love” crowd. It wreaks of “everything is subjective.” Within this guise, they attempt to allow a child to “come to their own conclusions about their values” (and sexuality, and political view) at age SEVEN! Children don’t just find identity. We instill it in them. It’s the nurture part of the great “nature vs nurture” existence. While the “everyone gets a trophy” parents are well meaning in their insistence on autonomy, it just doesn’t work.
Values are still being instilled. Unfortunately, modern parents have been convinced that character development is best left to the "experts" and professional "educators" rather than embrace it as their own responsibility.
Very thoughtful - and wise - piece. Thank you!
Beautiful, wonderful, cant wait for more and more people to grasp this model from Dr Stephen Stosny.
Thank you for expanding on these ideas and sharing them.
Thank YOU, Elisabeth. We HAVE to stop hurting our kids!
Just getting to know your writing and so glad I happened upon it, through one of your comments. One significant quibble: “It’s up to us to gift it”—no one can gift anyone an identity. We can reflect back to children how we see them in the world, how the choices they make (what they do) speak to their values and their character. But only they can come to an internal stable understanding of “this is who i am if I make these choices; other choices make me someone else. Who do I want to be? I need to choose my actions accordingly.”